Breakfast for the Non-Breakfast Person

Never, in all of my 79 years* have I eaten breakfast on a regular basis.

Oh I know. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I KNOW!!

• “It’s the most important meal of the day,” they yell!
• “Breakfast controls your appetite so you don’t overeat and snack,” they lie!
• “You burn more calories because breakfast jump starts your metabolism,” they explain!

“B.S.,” I reply.

And I still cry foul. Maybe I’m just special**, but breakfast does none of the promised things for me that it apparently does for the rest of the world. When I eat breakfast, it only jumpstarts my appetite and my imagination. As in: “What else is there to eat now?” And, “How much longer until lunch?” And frankly, if there is a time during the day during which I am NOT hungry and craving food, why in the world would I decide to force-feed myself just because a bunch of so-called experts tell me I should?

So, it is not with any haughty über-knowledge on health and wellness that I propose you give this breakfast a try. It is simply, without question, the most effing delicious thing I have discovered in the past year or two. Not since Meatless Monday’s discovery of Indian food have I been this evangelical about a food item. So now, like the vast majority of people in the world, I sit down to breakfast most mornings. Not because I am hungry, but because it is so damn good.

I could write on and on about this. And that’s just a little scary. It’s also why I haven’t written much in the past few months. I simply don’t have the time to write a tome every single time I open WordPress. I supposed it’s also because I can’t find that blasted Road Trip journal, but no one actually believes me about that so…

Here’s the deal:

• Buy Fage Fat Free Yogurt. Not only is it the perfect texture, but then you only have one carton of  yogurt molding in your refrigerator instead of the two you normally have because you no longer have to buy plain for cooking and sweetened for eating.
• Buy either a big thing of honey or agave nectar, which doesn’t crystallize like honey, but isn’t *quite* as delicious. It more than makes up for that in the reduced frustration factor though.
• Mix the yogurt with the honey or agave to taste.
• Add a wicked amount of pomegranate seeds. I used to buy the packaged ones– so easy! — but they ferment so dang fast, so now I buy a crate of pomegranates and keep them in our garage. They last a month!
• Skip the granola. The pomegranate seeds are crunchy enough and there’s one less thing to put away.
• Stir it together and tell me it’s not the best thing you’ve ever eaten.

* OK, I’m not really 79 years old. But tell that to the arches on my feet and my hamstrings that are so tight I’m fearful they are going to snap the next time I lunge at my cat in anger as she claws my couch.

** I am special.