Jenmenke

Road Warrior

Food

Dare Me?

Meatless Monday Eight Prequel.

I’m home alone.

I’m making dinner for tonight’s Meatless Monday.

No, no. I haven’t turned over a new leaf. I have bookclub tonight and a busy afternoon of kid stuff. So I’m being proactive.

So yeah, maybe I am turning over a new leaf. But just for today.

I’m making this really old family favorite potato soup recipe. And you know how I love to use up stuff from my pantry…

So anyway, do you dare me?

(you would think Dave would wise up and start reading this blog, if only to protect himself.)

Morgan’s 15th Birthday Meal

I don’t know what to say.

She wanted “Fuddruckers” and “French Silk.”

Leave it to me to turn that into a personal challenge. Cuz Lord knows most people would simply get in the car with their wallets and go.

(Before you start berating me for being lazy, crazy, martyr, glutton, etc., you need to know that we had already gone out the night before to celebrate at Big Bowl.)

So, for her actual birthday dinner, I asked her what she wanted. And when she told me, I figured I could get away with having Dave pick up a genuine Baker’s Square French Silk pie and serving burgers with some form of the requested “liquid cheese — like Fuddruckers.”

Nope. No such luck.

When I asked Dave to pick the pie up on his way home, he looked at me like I had three heads. Of course he never actually said anything, mind you. He just stood there looking at me, incredulous.

My first reaction was to start yelling that not everyone considers a birthday done-and-over just because you happened to go out for dinner the night before! For Heaven’s Sake! She’s turning 15! Doesn’t that mean anything to you?! Just because YOU don’t think birthday’s are a BIG DEAL, doesn’t mean that I have to AGREE WITH YOU. What? WHAT!

(Are you picturing the scene? I need you to picture the scene)

Then he said: “No, it’s not that I don’t want to pick it up. I just can’t. I’m out of town tomorrow night.”

Oh.

I guess I was supposed to use my oft-requested powers of ESP to know that. Rewind the tape. Erase that last part.

So anyway, rather than drive 30 miles to Baker’s Square, I opted instead to make it all from scratch. I was surprised to find about a gajillion links for Fuddruckers burger seasoning mix(!) and several copycat French Silk Pie recipes.

I didn’t find a true Fuddrucker’s copycat for their french fries, though I think the recipe I used came awfully close.

Everything was amazing, aside from me overcooking the hamburgers, dammit! And, the cheese sauce left a bit to be desired. But that may have been due to the fact that I was trying to make due with what I had on hand (no surprise there) and I was admittedly light on the cheese side of the cheese sauce.

I included links to the recipes I used above. Just so you know, I halved the french silk pie recipe and put it into an itty bitty pie plate. I also thinned out the batter for the fries to be much runnier than the recipe called for and liked them better that way. The cheese sauce? Well, let’s just skip that one, shall we?

Morgan felt very loved.

Or at least I think she felt loved.

If you eat until you feel sick, does that mean you feel loved?

Meatless Monday Seven!

And Valentine’s Day wrapped up in one.

Dave gave me two cookbooks for Valentine’s Day. One was an Indian cookbook and the other was a vegetarian cookbook. Which proves that even though he is pissing and moaning about Meatless Mondays, he is – in fact – encouraging me to continue.

I was very excited. I made an Indian pork dish for our Valentine’s Day dinner. I know that sounds like an oxymoron, being that most Indians don’t eat pork, but apparently a few in the south do (The Christian ones, the recipe states). It was delicious. Even my daughter’s friend — a notoriously picky eater — liked it. And that’s saying something.

So, for Meatless Monday Seven, I decided to cook something out of the other one. The vegetarian one. Both cookbooks have lovely pictures — a must, for me. I know there are many, many, many fabulous cookbooks that don’t have pictures. They just don’t appeal to me anymore. Maybe I don’t have the time to really delve in. I don’t know. I judge cookbooks-by-their-covers and that’s all there is too it.

The point is, these both had lovely pictures.

However, after cooking out of both. The Indian is in the lead. The vegetarian one has two fails so far. And I’m wondering:

Can I return it and say I don’t like it after having used it? Like you supposedly can with make-up you have already opened? Even though I don’t actually return make-up I have already opened and hate? Because it just seems wrong? Then I’m mad and vow to stop buying make-up at the drugstore from now on. When I should just return it. Anyone else suffer this same madness? Madness as in — mental illness?

Anyway.

I wonder what Barnes and Nobel would say if I brought it back and said, “The cellophane noodles called for in the recipe for Thai Spicy noodles are clearly NOT cellophane noodles in the photo. I want my money back!”

Because that really bugs me.

Don’t take a picture of the finished dish and make it look better with different noodles than the recipe calls for. That’s FRAUD!

Being that I am generous and forgiving in nature, I did not give up on this cookbook for that obvious failing. I generously cooked not one, but two recipes from it: 1) Refritos Gateau and 2) Sage Buttered Parsnips.

Let’s start with 2), because it’s faster: Sage Buttered Parsnips are, well… sage. buttered. parsnips. That’s the “recipe.” Cook parsnips, drain and mix with sage and butter. I fricken’ kid you not. But still I made them. I even followed the recipe for once! Oooh. Aaah. They were AMAZING. Ohh. ah. This cookbook. Is. Amazing!!

Moving on to 1) Refritos Gateau. It sounded quite promising. In the end though, it was little more than refried beans with melted cheese and sour cream. All the other stuff in the photo at the top? That was my attempt to cover up the ghastly-looking patties so that my family wouldn’t barf when they sat down to dinner. I’m sure it wasn’t any coincidence that caused the editors to skip Refritos Gateau when selecting recipes to photograph for the cookbook.

It tasted just fine. It was even good. It simply did not deserve 1 hour of my time when I could have just as easily opened three cans of beans, popped them in the microwave with some cheese and served them with sour cream, avocados and other miscellaneous accouterments.

Because that was what it tasted like. Nevermind the sautéed onions, eggs (? Yes. eggs. which were a complete waste of delicious fresh eggs) and the other blather called for in the recipe. Dividing it, baking it, in two springform pans (!), assembling it, warming it in the oven, spreading it with sour cream, back into the oven, blah blah blah, waste my time no more!

I will not give up on this book yet. I will give it more chances and report back. But if it continues on this downward path, look out. Hell hath no fury like a cook scorned. And I will unleash that fury with ratings anywhere and everywhere I can. (Just ask the poor sods who sent me the wrong furnace filter and made me pay the return shipping.)

(Valentines Day is not just for people)

Faster than a Frozen Pizza Green Curry

Approximately three times a week, at about 6pm, I can be heard asking anyone standing within earshot, “Should we have Green Curry tonight?”

So sick have my family become of this question, that now treat it as rhetorical.

Tonight I had Green Curry.

It should be noted that the vocal portion of the family were gone. That left Charlie and myself as a voters. And he is mere putty in my hands, the poor boy. He actually seems to want to please me!

Maybe it’s the headphones clasped to head, with guns roaring in the background as he plays Call of Duty Modern Warfare (don’t worry, he has the “blood turned off”, whatever that means) as I asked him his preference between frozen pizza and Green Curry. Maybe it is his sweet nature. It really doesn’t matter. He let me decide.

I ate way too much and now I feel sick, sitting in bed with the place all to myself. Books and magazines spread out across the entire surface…

But that’s not the point.

The point is, this is, by far, the fastest meal in my repertoire. Even if I start with frozen chicken. It is also one of my most favorite meals. I. Love. Green. Curry. Anything.

Maybe the delicious nature of green curry is responsible for cultures that eat dogs? I really swear you could put anything into the silky green liquid and it would taste like heaven.

I digress. And not in a good way.

I have long drooled over tempting recipes with long ingredient lists patiently pounded out with a mortar and pestle, ending in a curry paste that promises to be the best I’ve ever tasted.

And yet, I’ve never settled down to make one from scratch. I keep meaning to. It sounds fun. but…

WHY SHOULD I, WHEN THIS HEAVEN-IN-A-CAN EXISTS?

Honestly. I love it. Everything is already in there: kaffir lime leaves, lemongrass, bamboo shoots, coconut milk…

Before my friend Beth (who used to live in Thailand, I might add) turned me on to this brand, I used to nurse along a kaffir lime plant and a lemongrass catastrophe-in-a-pot so I could make a decent curry from the Thai Kitchen brand green curry paste available in grocery stores and I would never be without my favorite meal. It was really good. But it was a giant pain in the ass.

I’m exaggerating: it wasn’t really all that huge of a pain in the ass; only when compared to the curry in a can that I use now.

Here are the steps to making it:

  • about 20 minutes before we need to eat, I run downstairs, grab some chicken thighs or chicken breasts from freezer.
  • I submerge frozen chicken package in warm water. I don’t defrost in the microwave anymore because I got sick of partially cooked corners and I think it changes the texture of the meat.
  • I rifle around for any (and I mean any) languishing vegetables to toss in: peas pods(or frozen peas), tomatoes, zucchini, green beans, potatoes, eggplant, carrots… anything.

  • I cut chicken into large bites, discarding any globs of fat from the thighs (which I like better than breasts for this)
  • If feeling dandy and I have the time, I brown the chicken before dumping in the can of curry. It’s not necessary, but does prevent weird chicken dust from forming in broth. I can’t think of any other way to describe that stuff that floats in the sauce. If done right, it also creates brown bits that I scrape up when I add the curry, which adds some extra flavor.

  • I simmer until chicken is cooked thru, adding veggies in last minutes.

  • And finally, I serve it over jasmine rice

Tonight, starting with frozen chicken thighs, I had dinner on the table in 15 minutes. The thighs took 5 minutes to thaw. The curry took 10 minutes to cook. And the rice was ready in 15.

I ate two full bowls and then ate the rest of Charlie’s. And then ate a bunch more as I put the leftovers away.

Send help.

[update: it is now lunch. I am over my sickness and preparing to eat the rest for lunch in 44 minutes.]

Meatless Monday Six

(Sorry Guys, No Exclamation Mark for this One.)

Meatless Monday Six was non-blogworthy. We had baked potatoes and broccoli.

Yep. That’s it.

That’s what we had.

I even had a plan for it. Knew what I was gonna make. Tweeted about it.

I’ll be honest: I might not have allotted enough time to make what I planned to make, but that’s water under the bridge. Because I didn’t get to make it.

Know why?

Out of all the days in the year. In my marriage, really, Dave decides this is the day he is going to tell me what he would like to have for dinner.

And that would be, potatoes.

Plain baked potatoes.

With broccoli on the side.

When I tried to overrule him, he simply said: “You ask me all the time what I want to have for dinner. Well, I am finally telling you. Tonight, I want baked potatoes.”

He is a man of brief and true statements. But come on. Like I can write a post about baked potatoes and broccoli!

I don’t even know what to say. I am rendered speechless. And I have to wonder if this was the plan all along.

Meatfull Sunday

In the direct opposition to Meatless Mondays, we had a Meatfull Sunday. Albeit was the Superbowl. And we do have a loose tradition of eating chili for the Superbowl. So it’s not like I was snubbing my nose at going meatless. It just seemed funny to me that while I was thinking ahead to the next day and Meatless Monday, I was dumping three pounds of ground beef into a pot.

Anyway.

Chili is not a food I would have eaten until roughly 1991 or so. I believe I have mentioned previously that I used to be a somewhat picky eater. Oh, how it pains me to admit that now! I despise picky eaters.

I guess that makes me something of a hypocrite.

Well. Add it to the list.

Dave does like chili, however, so after getting married, I needed to find a happy medium. For my first foray into chili eating, I made a chicken chili recipe out of The New Basics Cookbook, adapting their vegetable chili recipe. This post is not that recipe, however. It was merely a segue to my own ability to eat chili, that took me to this chili recipe contained in this post.

This recipe is not my invention.

I do, however, own it.

…after winning it at a small and sad silent auction.

I have no idea the legalities of recipe ownership and whether I do, indeed, own the rights to it after paying a ridiculous amount for the framed version of it at that auction.

And frankly, I don’t care.

I will give credit to its creator, Steve Neddermeyer — better known as ‘Uncle Neddy’ — who beat my Chicken Chili recipe in a chili contest with this recipe. Uncle Neddy is a local celebrity, known for driving around and serving his pork chops on a stick, along with various other accouterments out of his souped-up trailer. He works most events as donations for charities and non-profits that he supports. Pretty amazing guy, really.

He probably should have excused himself from the Chili Contest, though, being that he’s practically a professional, don’cha think?

That was about five years ago, and I’m still mad.

At the auction, assuming I would be starting a bidding war — and making much needed money for the school — I put $50 in for the starting bid.

I won the recipe.

And while Dave wasn’t thrilled with my bid, I have to admit that he loves it.

So do the kids.

…more, even, than my chicken chili. Charlie just looked over my shoulder as I write, and — thinking he was complimenting me — said “That was the best chili I’ve ever had. Really. It’s the best. I like it even more than the chicken chili.”

He was trying to be sweet. He didn’t know he ripped my heart out of my chest, raw and bleeding…

Anyway.

I made it yesterday and share it with you now. It really is good.

Uncle Neddy’s Award Winning* Chili Recipe
  • 2 lbs ground beef
  • 1/2 cup green pepper, chopped
  • 1/2 cup red pepper, chopped
  • 1/2 cup yellow pepper, chopped (I substitute 1/4 c hot pepper)
  • 1 medium onion, chopped
  • Famous Dave’s Steak seasoning (I substitue Chef Paul’s Cajun Redfish Magic)
  • 1 tsp celery salt
  • 2 T chili powder
  • 1 t paprika
  • 2 t balsamic vinegar
  • 2 T brown sugar (I use only 1 or less, as we don’t like it sweet)
  • 1 can kidney beans (I use pinto. kidneys are too big)
  • 1 can chili beans (I use great northern or chili beans)
  • 2 cans tomato soup
  • 2-16 oz cans tomato sauce (I used 4 cups garden tomato sauce from freezer)
  • 1 t black pepper
  • 1 t garlic powder
  • 1/4 t cayenne pepper
  • 1 t dry mustard
  • 1 1/2 c water
  • I also added 2 t ground cumin

Brown ground beef, drain and remove to bowl.

Saute onion and peppers in 2T oil. Add remaining ingredients and ground beef to pot. Simmer for at least one hour and up to 3 hours, partially covered. Add more water if needed.

Serve with crispy fried corn tortillas or chips, sour cream, green onions, shredded cheese, hot sauce, crumbled Cotija cheese and of course, cornbread with honey butter.

* judges were locals, known to have eaten many pork chops-on-a-stick free of charge. Award is pending appeal.