Meatless Monday One

I already regret my New Year’s Resolution.

I lost track of time, like always.

Every January I am struck by a strange and unstoppable compulsion to clean, organize and declutter every closet, shelf, cabinet and drawer. It doesn’t matter what my calendar says or what other promises I have made for the day. I suddenly and inexplicably find myself with a rag in one hand cleaning the outer corners of a pantry that hasn’t seen a mop or a vacuum in at least two years.

That was a few days ago. Monday, it was the two junk drawers in the kitchen and the book shelves in the living room. It took all day. I don’t know why it took all day, but it did. And I was exhausted by the end of it. My donation pile grew and my satisfaction along with it. Until… I realized… oh shit. MEATLESS MONDAY!

And by now, of course, you all know that a quick run to the grocery store was not an option for me.

What to do, what to do.

I run by the Tasty Kitchen in a frenzy. My scattered brain and frantic fingers can hardly concentrate. Morgan wanted butternut squash pasta or ravioli. No time for that. Besides, no butternut! (hear that Michelle? NO BUTTERNUT!) What do I have… what can I make….

Perhaps because the idea of Morgan’s butternut pasta was somehow lodged in my psyche… I don’t know. I don’t know what possessed me to consider the roasted carrots in the freezer from the fall of 2008. Who knows how my brain works.

But defrost the carrots I did.

And it was all downhill from there.

Oh, I gave it a nobel effort. But from that very first decision, I was lost.

So, yes. I promised to write about each meal. But you won’t be needing this recipe. So I’ll save you all the lovely photos of the process.

Except maybe this one:

mmm. I bet that makes your mouth water, doesn’t it?

Maybe the same feeling you get right before you throw up.

Here’s another detail about the night’s festivities: I must have been asked six times, between the hours of 5 and 7, what I was making. Dave even called from the car out of curiosity.

What could I say?

Baked Wheat Pasta with Pureed Carrot Sauce? Are you kidding me?

With ginger, garlic, wine, half and half, orange juice, thyme, sage, pine nuts and ricotta? Because I just kept adding ingredients with the hope that it would begin to taste like something other than year-old roasted carrots from the freezer?

What would you have said?

So I lied.

(Don’t worry. They don’t read this so they’ll never know. I told them it was indeed butternut squash.)

And they believed me!

And they ate it!

It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was. Except for the fact that we all had to add about a cup of liquid to our plates in order to make it edible. I added half and half. I mean it’s Meatless Monday, not Fatfree Friday.

But I still think bacon bits would have improved it.