Jenmenke

Road Warrior

complaining

So…

It’s been — what? Two weeks? Three weeks?

Did you miss me?

According to my loving and supportive brother, there is likely no one out there anymore TO miss me. And that’s, well… that’s totally understandable. And I’d have to say it’s hard to believe there was ever anyone in the first place, so it’s a good thing I’ve got roving spam bots to keep me company.

I’m not going to go on and on about how busy I’ve been. We’re all busy. I mean, I’m almost 100% sure I’m busier than you, but you don’t want to hear that, do you? You wouldn’t believe me anyway. Because you are equally 100% sure you are busier than me. Right?

What in Heaven’s name are we doing to ourselves? And we all pretend we are all just FINE.

“How’s your summer going?”

“Oh. Just W O N D E R F U L. YOU?”

“Lovely.”

I actually don’t say that. Just ask my poor friends. It’s a wonder I have friends at all.

“How’s your summer going?”

“Pretty crappy really. Not relaxing at all. I’m hoping August is better. Oh, it’s fine, really, I’m just saying it’s not what I picture summer as being….”

And then I go in to this long diatribe about all the wonderful things I do for everyone but myself. All but negating the whole idea of the Happy Helper. The Selfless Giver. The biblical Good Samaritan.

It’s just not in the cards. I do try. But you would never know I try. I’ve never made it past saying “it’s fine.” Not once. Not even to someone I don’t know.

I can’t begin to imagine what kind of little old lady I will be.

But really. Is this really what I’m supposed to be doing? Driving my kids all over to Hell and back in the name of what? Never-ending to-do lists? Guilt that piles on top of guilt that piles on top of guilt? Is it really that important to grow my own damn sugar snap peas? Does the pumpkin patch seriously need to be perfectly weed free? Really?

Do I really need to understand iTunes Home Sharing? Really?

Is that extra $5 off the shoes I am hunting for online really justify the 2.5 hours I spent looking? Really?

Does Crow River Soccer really need a pretty web site? Really?

Maybe I’m being too nostalgic.

Could we ever really go back to the 80’s? Before cable TV? Before computers and iphones and the need to stay plugged in all the time? The crazy need to return a call or an email within an hour of receipt? The need to google every stupid question that comes up in conversation?*

When kids played outside?

And moms had coffee together?

And happy hour started at 4 pm daily?

Or was that just my mom?

Ha ha. Just kidding mom.

And no, I don’t just need a vacation. Because I’m going on a vacation soon and that just adds to the stress. And coming back from vacation is worse than getting ready to go. And when you add those two together, don’t they more than negate the wonderful time you were away? When you were in your car with the MiFi on, doing work in between towns big enough to warrant 3G, while the kids are in the back watching movies, playing online games and facebooking and complaining about the crappy Verizon data coverage?

While we are on a “CAMPING” trip!**

I know what you are thinking.

That I’m just a bad parent.

Or a cry baby.

Or a complainer.

Well you’d be right.

I ask you again: Did you miss me?***

*Nope. Couldn’t give up Google. I love it.

**You think I am kidding? Just wait. Road Trip #3 is coming soon.

***If so, I have included the only photos taken of me all year from fourth of July in Hayward. –When I happily blew off every commitment on my to-do list for 6 days and have been martyrishly paying the price ever since. If not, please disregard.

 

Dog Days of Summer

All Activity Suspended Due to Heat

I do know that — traditionally at least — the Dog Days are in August. When I was a kid, I thought “Dog Days” literally translated to: “When the scum on the lake grows so thick you can no longer swim.”

Seriously. I really did think that.

It isn’t is it?

Maybe I shouldn’t act like I know it all…

But I do know it all. So let’s stop pretending I don’t, shall we?

Anyway. I declare that the Dog Days of Summer are NOW. Why? Because in Minnesota where I live, it is currently 93 degrees and something like 83% humidity. Maybe it’s more. I don’t know. I don’t care. What I care about is the fact that my air conditioning at home does not work.

No, it’s not stressed or taxed or anything like that. It got hit by lightning. Actually the chimney got hit by lightning and various amenities inside the house are suffering the consequences. Things like my oven. And more sadly, my air conditioning.

I can’t complain too much though, since I hardly EVER use it. Hardly, hardly ever. But when I do? You know it’s bad out. And right now, it’s bad out.

And in:

Yep. That’s the temp in my living/dining/kitchen area. The basement thermostat reads 81 degrees and — get this — 83% humidity. I didn’t even know that was possible.

Charlie is at tennis and I’m cooling my heels at Caribou with a hot latte. Seriously. I forgot to say “iced” and the lady behind the counter actually believed that I was dumb enough to want a hot latte. Needless to say, I poured it over ice.

I know I haven’t written in a while. Apologizing for not writing regularly is something I swore I would never do. And I won’t. But complaining about my life? That’s fair isn’t it?

This is the time in my year when I just about dig my own grave and hop in willingly. Anything sounding better than walking through my days. It shouldn’t be this way. Especially in summer, amid beautiful friends and weather — bugs be damned. Have I told you about the bugs we have this year?

It’s not that I’m sorry to be involved with the stuff I am involved in. I want to do the stuff I do. And by “stuff” I mean volunteer stuff. But is it too much to ask them to move their events around a bit so that I’m not so overloaded every year?

Basically I’ve just been buried amid the quagmire of life. And while I love, love, love to write, sometimes it becomes just another stress in the dark recess that is my mind. And the guilt… Have I told you about the guilt issues I have?

So instead of writing, I will call Heating and Cooling 2 for the third time in as many weeks. I will re-call the electrician who missed yet another bad GFI outlet. I will call the security system people who left saying it worked fine and not 30 minutes later it started beeping at me and driving me mad. I will drive my kids to the ends of the earth for no reason at all. I will occasionally sweep the myriad of cat hair that is swirling under the bar stools. I will apologize (again) for not making dinner. I will package up and send back the “new” replacement ipod speaker that was ruined in the lightning strike that was sent all scratched up with a used cord. I will smile when people make constructive suggestions about soccer and say “Wow! What a GREAT idea! Now, who do you think might be willing to actually RUN that little project besides ME?”

And, when I get the chance, I will come back here and start writing fun stuff again.

I want to be a cat.

Even though I don’t particularly like cats all that much.