Jenmenke

Road Warrior

gifts

Surprise!

What do you give the guy that has everything? No, that’s not quite right…

What do you give the guy who doesn’t want anything?

…No, that’s not quite right either. He always wants a jacket. He has a jacket fetish. We actually have an entire closet in our laundry room to house his collection.

But even a huge walk-in closet isn’t enough for him.

No.

For, this fall, he constructed a new area for a different ‘class’ of jackets. Oh, you know, hunting jackets and waders and stuff. Cuz, you know, they don’t belong in the main closet. Plus, Charlie’s airsoft stuff is in the closet (and the cat box) and, it’s just such a hassle to get in there…

So I guess I was exaggerating, as I am prone to do at times, when I say that Dave is a guy who wants nothing. Because, you know, I could buy him another fricken’ jacket.

But I refuse to do that.

Here’s why.

One time, several years ago, I decided to purchase a nice, lightweight soft-shell jacket for him for Christmas. I researched and researched. I agonized over color, and in the end chose a red Cloudveil. He loved it. He still loves it. I am serious when I say he really loves jackets.

Fast forward a few years to a yucky day that was windy and drizzly. Dave was complaining bitterly that he really lacked an appropriate jacket for the elements. To say I was agog would be too mild. I sputtered out, “What about the Cloudveil?” You know, the 3 oz, waterproof, windproof, nicely tailored, cool colored, superbly comfortable, ridiculously expensive Cloudveil?!

To which he responded with equal aghast — and I swear his face lost color — “That jacket is for skiing!”

You see, Dave has a dedicated jacket for every conceivable activity. And he never uses, say, a waterproof soft-shell jacket that he has earmarked for skiing about 10 times a year for, say, a rainy and windy drizzly saturday to watch soccer– which, I might add, he does far more than skiing. No, that requires a nicely tailored, lightweight, waterproof ‘out-around-the-town‘ type jacket. Which, sadly, he does not currently own.

Well, I refuse to feed his addiction.

Instead, I wrack my brain and ferret away any feasible gift idea that comes to mind. No matter the hassle or cost. For I, my friends, am a thoughtful gift giver. I do not shop from lists. No! I go above and beyond.

[And dammit, you better love it. –right Bennett?]

So, for Dave’s birthday this year, I gave him a new garage floor.

It wasn’t easy.

But I did it.

That’s just the kinda gal I am.

It was two days of sanding and sealing and keeping my dog away from their dog.

And when Dave came home from out of town and couldn’t open his garage door because I had disabled the opener (I thought of everything). He came in to check out what was wrong and saw his new, beautiful floor.

 

Surprise!

I thought he was going to start crying. He loved it. [Because I forgot to mention that he also has a garage floor fetish.] And to him, it was a thing of utter beauty.

He still doesn’t have that ‘out and around town’ jacket. But I might cave. I’m running out of ideas.

And money.

 

 

Sneak Peek at my Birthday Presents

Yes, it was my BIRTHDAY today!! And after last year’s dismal performance, this year shined brightly. It was a great day. The sun was actually visible!!! I got sunburned!!!

Anyway. I just had to share this gift that I got from my kids. And it wasn’t some, get-it-at-the-only-store-in-Watertown kind of thing. Morgan actually picked Charlie up after school and they drove to the CITIES to shop.

Today Charlie said, “I can’t wait to give you your present. It’s so awesome. You will love it.”

And then I opened this.

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I shit you not.

And I’m wondering, “hmmmm.”

Is it bad that I really DO love it, or does that make me dysfunctional?

Rosemary Cracker Bread

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Go Make Some

I’ll admit, it’s a bit of a pain. But look at that picture! It’s so cool looking. And good! Amazing to behold! And yes, I’ll admit this, too: it’s a repeat.

Remember everyone, my computer died on Sunday. I’m working off the kid’s iMac. It isn’t as bad as I had feared, but for some reason — and I don’t really have time to troubleshoot this week — Aperture isn’t generating thumbnails from my camera. So, I’m using iPhoto for now, and going bare-blog-bones for the next week or two.

The reason I’m reposting the Rosemary Cracker Bread, is because it’s so FESTIVE. And — if you are an overachiever such as I — a PERFECT gift for the holidays. I bought some of those clear cellophane candy-type bags and use a cool twine hang tag to close it up. Fragile packages of bliss.

Anyway, for whatever reason, this video of mine does not get many hits on youtube. Go figure. The ciabatta recipe is racking up the views, but not my sad and lonely cracker bread.

I had to make them recently for the people who won my 8-Months-Of-Bread live auction item. And as usual, I couldn’t leave well-enough alone and tweaked the recipe ever so slightly. Here is my latest version:

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Rosemary Cracker Bread

1 1/2 cups flour

1 tsp ground flax seed (optional. but then you can say the crackers are trendy and healthy!)

1/2 cup cold water

1 tsp salt

dash of sugar

2-3 T finely chopped fresh rosemary

1/8 cup olive oil

Preheat oven to 500 with a pizza stone on a rack.

Put flour, flax, salt, sugar and rosemary in food processor. Pulse to blend. Add oil, pulse 3-4 times. Turn machine to ‘on’ and add water in stream till dough comes together. Run for about 20 seconds. Turn dough out and knead to smooth ball. Divide into four pieces and cover with a towel. Let rest 5 minutes.

Begin with one of the four dough pieces. Using a pasta roller, start on the widest setting and finish on the thinnest, just as you would for rolling out pasta dough. It helps to divide the dough one more time about mid way through the rolling process, so that one piece of dough results in two long (approx 4″ x 15″)  strips of rolled dough. I also dust the dough with flour on both sides before rolling at the thinnest setting. The two strips get baked at the same time, for a total of four batches of two strips from one cracker bread recipe. I do not begin rolling the second piece of dough until the first batch is cooked. Multi tasking for this recipe always results in burned crackers for me!

Spritz dough with water from a spray bottle and sprinkle with sea salt (or kosher) and fresh ground pepper. Slide parchment paper directly into oven onto baking stone. Flip crackers over and move from front to back of oven after about 1 minute. Watch closely. Your oven my vary. You want to flip after the dough bubbles, but is still pliable. I do this quickly by reaching in with tongs. Watch closely after that. Take out after no more than a minute — sometimes less. You don’t want them browned. There will be light brown spots or speckles and maybe an edge or two will be darkening, but that’s it. The strips will still be flexible. You can cut them into 6″ lengths at this point with a pizza cutter for uniform sizes, or wait until they are crisp and break them for a more half hazard look.

Cool completely on a rack, then package and store in festive cellophane bags to impress your friends.

If you don’t have a pizza stone large enough to bake the strips on, you can use a large cookie sheet. You will need to dramatically increase the cooking time. Watch for the dough to begin to bubble, give it another 30 seconds to a minute and then flip it. You want to take them out when they are beginning to stiffen. So if you grab one out of the oven it will bend into an arc slightly when held in the middle, but won’t bend in half.

My directions make it sound much more complicated than it is. I just wanted to be as helpful as I could be, having made many, many batches of these crackers and coming up with helpful tips along the way.

Of course, you can always watch the original video, which helps if you want to see the roller technique and oven set up.