Jenmenke

Road Warrior

rant

Hey Bennett: Leave Me ALONE!

The title should say it all. But if, for some reason, it doesn’t, Bennett is my brother. And I want him to leave me alone.

I’m hot. I’ve had about 50 hot flashes today. I’m keeping the black rage at bay by the skin of my teeth. And I’m on my second beer. I call it my “attitude adjuster.”

I’m trying to remember all the things on my calendar with no screw-ups. But since I know Barb reads this, she could tell you I have not been successful in the venture. –For I forgot to go to Freedomfarm (a volunteer thing I do), not one week, but two. Two in a row. Shameful.

My garden is a wasteland.

A wasteland, I tell you.

I repainted my porch floor because I HAD TO.

Had to.

…only the delightfully cool ‘Bamboo Beige’ accent color that was to be a darker version of our mustard gold house was actually peachy-orange. It was an utter disaster. Trying so hard to be patient, I waited all of 3 hours before painting over the peachy squares with “Dusty Green” that I found in our Dusty Garage that I bought approximately 12 Dusty Years Ago.

Though it looks good right now, it is easily scraping off with the least abrasion. (Think step ladder, stepped upon to vacuum up some of the millions of ladybugs/asian beetles and boxelder bugs that I am currently sharing my porch and home with.)

I fear the worst.

It is too fricken hot to do anything outside, though I am trying. Aforementioned hot flashes, notwithstanding.

Charlie is sick and coughing and sneezing all over everyone, leaving snotty kleenexes everywhere.

Again. I fear the worst.

(for me, that is.)

The apples are rotting off the trees. I have little more to say about that.

My oven is a MESS after those STUPID, OVERSIZED Costco pizzas dripped all over and are right now smoking up the whole house as I try to roast chicken while Morgan complains bitterly that she wanted to go out. I simply love those over-sized Costco pizzas for feeding a crowd. –Like the soccer team that showed up after the game on Friday night. But really. Can’t they be just an inch or two smaller so they aren’t jammed up against the back oven wall and the glass door?

Morgan — yes, miracle Morgan of the car accident — had surgery after fracturing her thumb in two places which required plates and screws when an errant soccer ball hit her before the third game she was able to play in after the whole concussion hoopla.

She’s had doctor appointments and court appearances (from the car accident), conferences, dates, parties and meltdowns . I’ve been on the phone with teachers, insurance people, prosecutors, and other various sorts to unravel the drama that is her 16-year old life. It’s all so… exciting!

Winter soccer is morphing into summer soccer proportions. It is a good thing. Or so they say. All I have to say is: pray for me, for I surely will not last another season without making headlines. In the crime section.

I have two lonely clients who think I am nothing more than a flim-flam con artist who took their money and ran, as they wait more patiently than is even humanly possible for their jobs to be completed.

And in the midst of all of this, BENNETT calls me — during school conferences that I was squeezing in during a soccer game half time — to say I am a loser. (Actually, I can make anything up I want to about my brother because he won’t lower himself to defending himself in the comments. So, really, when he asks me why I write this stupid blog, isn’t that reason enough? Did he really call me a loser? No. He did not. But frankly, I don’t remember what he called me. I was too busy staring daggers at the back of the head of the woman at the table talking to the teacher who had used up more than three allotted conference time slots. Who does that? )

I will be back soon to finish up the Road Warriors Three, Day 8 as Bennett so eloquently and lovingly reminded me was a trip that was actually completed more than 70 days ago.

I just ate my third cookie. I am fat. And I’m wondering if I have time for a third beer.

Braised Lamb Shanks with Polenta

Finally Found Some Lamb Shanks to Cook.

Unfortunately, the only way I could find lamb shanks were to buy them while still attached to the entire animal. I know, I know. Darling, soft, fuzzy lambs should not be eaten.

I know!

But we love lamb. I’m sorry, we just do. And buying it in plastic-wrapped packages at Costco doesn’t change the fact that it used to be a cute, fuzzy lamb.

Honestly, I find it so weird when people I talk to drop their mouths in HORROR that we bought a whole lamb — from a farm down the road, no less!

I say to them, “You don’t like lamb?” (It’s true that sometimes they don’t, but many, many of them DO eat lamb — from the store.)

“How can you do that,” they ask?

Seriously? As if the chops at CostCo didn’t come from a real and formerly-living lamb somewhere?

“It’s the idea of it,” they say. “You drive by those lambs every day. How can you eat them?!”

Well for crying out loud, get over it! If you are going to be a carnivore, or an omnivore, for crype sake, be honest about it. You are eating meat. It came from an animal! Deal with it. And if you can’t deal with it, become a vegetarian. That, I can respect.

At least I know this lamb lived a wonderful life in a green pasture, running around happily. It was killed humanely at a local butcher shop and packaged for me the way I asked. I actually feel pretty good about the whole thing. Put that into your styrofoam pipe and smoke it!

Rant concluded.

On with the meal:

Charlie helped me with this and told Dave later, “I could easily make these again.” And he’s right: it was ridiculously easy. And so, so very good. Baaah!

You braise the shanks in tablespoon or two of oil.

Then remove to a pan and add a chopped onion, 5 cloves minced garlic, 3 stalks of diced celery and 2 diced carrots (I would cut the veggies smaller next time). Add the shanks back in and add 1 can chicken broth, 1/2 cup of water, one 14oz can of diced tomatoes and juice (I also used garden tomato juice from freezer), 2 sprigs rosemary, 3 sprigs thyme and 1T whole peppercorns.

Bring to a boil then cover and put in a 325 degree oven for about 3 hours.

About 20 minutes before eating, make the polenta. I can never seem to find the ‘real’ thing and keep accidentally buying ‘instant polenta.’ This recipe worked quite well with the instant kind, keeping it nice and soft. The best we have tried, really. I credit the milk. I think I usually only make it with water or broth.

Soft & Creamy Polenta

Over low heat, saute small diced onion and 3 cloves of garlic in about 2T olive oil. Then add 2 cups of chicken broth (I used one can and diluted with water to make 2 cups) and 2 cups of milk with 1 tsp of salt and bring to a boil. Turn down heat to a simmer. Whisking constantly in one direction, slowly add 1 cup of polenta. Switch to a wooden spoon and stir often over low heat for about 20 minutes. Add more water if polenta gets too thick.

Right before serving, add 1T butter, 1/4c shredded parmesan or pecorino (the poor man’s parmesan!), 3T chopped sage (thyme may be substituted) and lots of cracked pepper. Serve topped with shanks and sauce.

Of course I forgot to take a picture. I’m such a boob.