Jenmenke

Road Warrior

vegetarian

Meatless Monday Catch-Up

Meatless Mondays 28 – 38.

I know you all just think I fell off the Meatless Monday wagon. That I am too ashamed to even admit it.

But you are wrong.

We’re still doing Meatless Monday. I just haven’t been writing about it. There are several reasons why:

  • They have been lame.
  • They have been lame.
  • And, they have been lame.

Remember when I said I wanted to do no repeaters?

Fail.

Remember when I said having plain noodles or rice was a cop-out and I wouldn’t do it?

I’m a hypocrite.

Remember when I said we’d — all of us — be eating Meatless Monday together, even if it wasn’t on a Monday?

I was on drugs.

But I’m a stubborn one. I’m not giving up. Just yesterday, I was busy stewing up a Meatless Monday enchilada recipe for dinner to be made with my freshly made green tomato sauce.

This isn’t tomato sauce made with unripe, green tomatoes.

Rather, it is made with the variety of tomato (Green Zebra and Green Grape in this instance) that is green when it is ripe:

A delicious, delicious variety. Probably one of my favorites.

And one that should never, ever be made into tomato sauce.

And yet I did, because what the hell else am I going to do with two buckets full of them? They’ll rot before we can eat them with fresh mozzarella. Not to mention that if I ate that much mozzarella, I would start to look like a log of the stuff myself.

What to make with green tomato sauce, what to make with green tomato sauce…

Green enchiladas! Yes! (I mean, that would look OK, right? Sort of like salsa verde??)

What to add, what to add…

Those extra frozen red beans from the batch I made in June!

And it was all downhill from there. The red beans had big chunks of chorizo that I had forgotten about, wrecking my Meatless Monday plans (yeah, I know it was Sunday, just go with me here). The addition made the sauce a sick orangish color that looked like vomit. So I figured, what the heck, I’ll add some of these chicken legs… The very legs that had been holding up one of my roosters up about three hours before.

And I sat there stirring that ungodly brew, sort of crying about those stupid roosters and thinking of becoming a full-time vegetarian.

Seriously. There is nothing like butchering your own meat to push you over the edge.

Wait. That isn’t accurate. I’m sounding way too cool. You are probably thinking, “Wow. She killed them herself?” No, no, no.  I’m a ninny. I always think I can do it, but I actually can’t. It’s happened several times out here. Me thinking I can kill any number of varmints. But I never can.

I do hunt upland birds, but I think I can do that because there is always the chance I will miss them. A good chance. It’s certainly never a sure thing.

Going into the coop, where I have fussed and carried on to keep the chickens safe and not afraid of me. To go in grab them and kill them? Nope. Sorry. No can do.

That’s what dads are for.

My dad.

It was the nicest thing he’s ever done for me. I know it was hard for him because he babies my chickens even more than me. He offered to help since he had the time. I knew he didn’t really want to do it and yet I let him do the whole dang thing. Dave was finally obligated to help him once he realized it was really happening. He didn’t want to look like a ninny, either. But the truth is, no one really wanted to do the deed, Dave included.

And I hid in the kitchen wringing my hands.

What a weenie.

I did do a brave thing later on. I actually cooked a couple of the legs.

And it made me sad. I’m not going vegetarian, but it does seriously make you consider every bite.

Every dang bite of every morsel of chicken. You gettin’ my drift? Chewing chicken has never been so hard…

So, for Meatless Monday tonight I had this:

It might have been the best one ever: Blue cheese on triscuts with red wine. Just me and my blue cheese with a book and some wine.

Meatless Monday suddenly took a turn for the better.

Meatless Monday Eighteen!

Morel Mushroom and Asparagus Risotto

If you haven’t read the Morel post from yesterday, please do. It gives background information necessary for truly understanding the nature of this very special Meatless Monday meal.

No, I’m not talking about the asparagus, that I’m ready to plow under. I’m talking, of course, about the two-year wait for morels fresh from our own woods. I liken it to the meals you eat while camping. Nothing tastes better than anything you make to eat when you are camping. And morels that you found yourself, in your own barren forest, taste better than any other.

I also — finally — made my own vegetable stock. I didn’t open any books to guide me on this journey, mind you. I just threw some veggies in a pan.

Roasted them at 450 for about 30 minutes.

Added water and simmered for an hour or two…

And just like that I had vegetable stock that tasted exactly like… water.

It was a beautiful golden brown color. It had a good aroma. But it tasted like water. And so it began, the random dumping of ingredients into the pot. I added tons of garlic, bay leaves, a sprig of rosemary, another onion, another carrot, two more stalks of celery, some wine, a splash of balsamic.

No, I’m not kidding. I really did add all that stuff. And in the end, it tasted like very weak vegetable stock. Which was actually perfect.

Because, have I written about making risotto before? How I love it so much, but when I make it it always seems so cloyingly rich? How I used to use my homemade chicken stock, but have eventually gravitated toward watered down store-bought Swanson’s broth? I think I might have, but if you didn’t read it, now you know.

So, I really was after a weak-tasting stock. Still, I was shocked at how many vegetables you actually have to use in order to get any flavor! I thought the roasting of them would combat that, but it didn’t. It just gave it a deeper color.

Anyway. Enough of that. I made it, it was delicious and I didn’t miss chicken broth one bit in this recipe. In fact, it was so good, I just might make the risotto this way always. Well, when I have the time to be farting around all day, that is.

For the four of us (and this left two servings of leftovers), I used 1 1/2 cups of arborio rice and about … I’m thinking back here…. about 8-9 cups of liquid. I could not believe how much liquid I needed. 3/4 cup of it was white wine, about 6 cups of it was the stock and the rest was water I kept adding at the end to get it the consistency we like — more soupy, less dry.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I made the risotto to just-short of being done and finished it two hours later. If you don’t know me personally, you will think the unforeseen circumstance was something like : the dog got hurt and had to go to the vet. Or, a friend called and asked for my help with driving her kids around…

But you’d be wrong. The unforeseen circumstance was soccer practice, which has been on the calendar for weeks. It was unforeseen in my own mind only. Dave was looking at me like I had three heads when I told him we were eating before practice. Of course, he was right and I was wrong.

But things happen for a reason, I like to think. And in this case it was the marvelous discovery of risotto being ‘par cooked’, or whatever the hell those Top Chefs call it on TV. I think this is what restaurants must do, as they can’t possibly be making risotto to order from scratch at a restaurant because it would take too long. It suddenly makes risotto a viable dish to make for company if you don’t want to be standing at the stove for an hour while guests stand around saying things like “Isn’t there something I can help you with?” …As you run around like a chicken with your head cut off, plunging your dirty hands into the food they will be eating later. Always a little disconcerting…

Oh my gosh. I talk/write too much. I’m not even at the damn recipe yet… I’ll just get to it. Sorry.

Morel and Asparagus Risotto (vegetarian)
  • 6-8 cups weak or watered down vegetable stock
  • 3/4 cup white wine
  • 1 1/2 cup arborio rice
  • 2T butter or olive oil
  • 1 small onion diced (I used frozen chopped leeks)
  • 1 large clove garlic, pressed
  • large bundle of asparagus cut on the diagonal into 2″ pieces, blanched
  • 2 cups (or whatever you can manage) washed and dried morel mushrooms, cut in half and sauteed in butter till browned
  • 1 cup finely grated pecorino or parmesan cheese

I put much of the prep instructions up there in the ingredient list. I wanted the asparagus to look perfect in the rice and not be overcooked, so I opted to blanch it rather than to cook it in the risotto. I think this is worth the extra dirty pan because with fresh garden asparagus, the tips would look mutilated from the stirring.

I also wanted the morels to have as much flavor as possible. I’m often disappointed when putting morels in with other foods, because you miss them in the other flavors and then they seem wasted. It is why I far more often just saute them in butter and eat them out of the pan. So for this recipe, I sauteed them in butter until the edges started to brown and crisp, salted and peppered, ate a few and saved the rest for stirring into the almost finished risotto. When I realized I needed more liquid than the vegetable stock I had ready, I deglazed the mushroom pan with water and used that for the liquid. It worked great and I would recommend it if you find yourself in a similar situation. OR, if you use dried mushrooms, save the soaking water and add to the risotto. It has a lot of flavor. (see? I’m still talking too much)

Bring the stock to a simmer in a sauce pan. In a separate large dutch oven or pan large enough for the finished risotto, heat the butter or oil over medium heat, and saute the onion until soft and translucent, about 5 minutes. Add the rice, stirring constantly, and saute for another couple minutes. Add the wine, stirring, until mostly absorbed. Add the stock, 1 cup at a time, stirring more often than not, as the stock is absorbed and is mostly absorbed by the rice (when you stir there isn’t liquid sitting on the bottom of the pan anymore), add another cup of stock. Occasionally take a bite of rice to see what stage it is at. Mine took about 25 minutes to get to the point that I ran out of time. At that point, I had added all of my 6 cups of stock and  the mushrooms. I covered it so the cats wouldn’t eat it and left. When I came back two hours later, I heated up 2 more cups of water (I do think that par cooking the rice and finishing later uses more liquid, so if you are making it to eat right away, you will use less), and finished cooking the risotto. Stir the blanched asparagus into the rice. Stir 3/4 cup of the grated cheese into the rice. Put into a big pretty bowl and top with remaining cheese.

In retrospect, I think a squeeze of lemon juice would have been really good, but by this time, it was about 9:20pm at our house and my kids would have stabbed me in the eye with a fork if I had told them to wait. This also explains the rather horrible photo, too, which for me has now become a tradition for Meatless Monday posts.

Meatless Monday Seven!

And Valentine’s Day wrapped up in one.

Dave gave me two cookbooks for Valentine’s Day. One was an Indian cookbook and the other was a vegetarian cookbook. Which proves that even though he is pissing and moaning about Meatless Mondays, he is – in fact – encouraging me to continue.

I was very excited. I made an Indian pork dish for our Valentine’s Day dinner. I know that sounds like an oxymoron, being that most Indians don’t eat pork, but apparently a few in the south do (The Christian ones, the recipe states). It was delicious. Even my daughter’s friend — a notoriously picky eater — liked it. And that’s saying something.

So, for Meatless Monday Seven, I decided to cook something out of the other one. The vegetarian one. Both cookbooks have lovely pictures — a must, for me. I know there are many, many, many fabulous cookbooks that don’t have pictures. They just don’t appeal to me anymore. Maybe I don’t have the time to really delve in. I don’t know. I judge cookbooks-by-their-covers and that’s all there is too it.

The point is, these both had lovely pictures.

However, after cooking out of both. The Indian is in the lead. The vegetarian one has two fails so far. And I’m wondering:

Can I return it and say I don’t like it after having used it? Like you supposedly can with make-up you have already opened? Even though I don’t actually return make-up I have already opened and hate? Because it just seems wrong? Then I’m mad and vow to stop buying make-up at the drugstore from now on. When I should just return it. Anyone else suffer this same madness? Madness as in — mental illness?

Anyway.

I wonder what Barnes and Nobel would say if I brought it back and said, “The cellophane noodles called for in the recipe for Thai Spicy noodles are clearly NOT cellophane noodles in the photo. I want my money back!”

Because that really bugs me.

Don’t take a picture of the finished dish and make it look better with different noodles than the recipe calls for. That’s FRAUD!

Being that I am generous and forgiving in nature, I did not give up on this cookbook for that obvious failing. I generously cooked not one, but two recipes from it: 1) Refritos Gateau and 2) Sage Buttered Parsnips.

Let’s start with 2), because it’s faster: Sage Buttered Parsnips are, well… sage. buttered. parsnips. That’s the “recipe.” Cook parsnips, drain and mix with sage and butter. I fricken’ kid you not. But still I made them. I even followed the recipe for once! Oooh. Aaah. They were AMAZING. Ohh. ah. This cookbook. Is. Amazing!!

Moving on to 1) Refritos Gateau. It sounded quite promising. In the end though, it was little more than refried beans with melted cheese and sour cream. All the other stuff in the photo at the top? That was my attempt to cover up the ghastly-looking patties so that my family wouldn’t barf when they sat down to dinner. I’m sure it wasn’t any coincidence that caused the editors to skip Refritos Gateau when selecting recipes to photograph for the cookbook.

It tasted just fine. It was even good. It simply did not deserve 1 hour of my time when I could have just as easily opened three cans of beans, popped them in the microwave with some cheese and served them with sour cream, avocados and other miscellaneous accouterments.

Because that was what it tasted like. Nevermind the sautéed onions, eggs (? Yes. eggs. which were a complete waste of delicious fresh eggs) and the other blather called for in the recipe. Dividing it, baking it, in two springform pans (!), assembling it, warming it in the oven, spreading it with sour cream, back into the oven, blah blah blah, waste my time no more!

I will not give up on this book yet. I will give it more chances and report back. But if it continues on this downward path, look out. Hell hath no fury like a cook scorned. And I will unleash that fury with ratings anywhere and everywhere I can. (Just ask the poor sods who sent me the wrong furnace filter and made me pay the return shipping.)

(Valentines Day is not just for people)

Meatless Monday Four!

Indian Daal, Naan, Fried Rice… HOMERUN!

Well, I finally did it. I spent some TIME and I PLANNED a Meatless Monday meal. And now I know why I didn’t do that before:

It takes a lot of time.

I blew the whole morning looking at recipes. The whole morning. Part of that might be because I got lost in about a hundred YouTube videos by this Indian lady (really, really good videos) who — in order to be very, very clear — talked very, very slow. The videos were very clear and very slow.

I think my hemming and hawing and inability to just pick a recipe and be done with it were due, in part, to my general feeling that vegetarian Indian dishes were not going to truly satisfy our dinner hunger.

That, and — let’s be honest — photos of chickpeas swimming in brownish sauce with chopped spinach really aren’t all that inspiring.

(More on this later)

Anyway, I was WRONG!

Everything was fantastic.

We ate till we were sick.

Indian is the new Beef.

Some things to note:
1) I don’t have photos of the process. It was a mess. Indian cooking is messy. Pouring liquids into oil, cumin seeds popping out of pans like popcorn, hitting me in the face, Garam masala? I don’t have garam masala. What can I use instead? What is asafetida? Someone google asafetida… Is oven on? Oh shit, I forgot to add the lentils… you get the idea. The Canon had no place in the chaos. No place.

2) The photos I have are not particularly appetizing. In fact, the photos I saw and the videos I watched of Indian food were not particularly appetizing in general. At least not to me. It leads me to the conclusion that perhaps vegetarian dishes are not very visually appealing to me at all. Could that be part of my resistance to vegetarianism? Maybe the allure of these ugly photos starts to happen as you fall in love with new tastes and get to know that this awful looking food is actually delicious and the ugly photos start to look beautiful? Like when you look at a pool of chopped spinach and beans you go: “ooooh, yummmm?”

Instead of: “I can’t serve that for dinner.”

That makes sense, I suppose. But consider it a warning. Unless you are already a brainwashed vegetarian, you will probably think my photos look gross. But trust me when I say they are NOT gross. In fact, as I write this, my daughter is eating the leftovers before soccer practice. I asked for a bite and she said no. (And now it’s the next day, as I finish writing this, and I’m actually considering making it again tonight for dinner.)

3) I got my recipes from manjulaskitchen.com. Of course I did a bit of tweaking, because of course I didn’t have everything oh hand. What is asafetida, anyway? Plus, I had gone to the trouble of buying red lentils — why I thought I needed them, I have no idea — and dammit, I was gonna use the stupid things. But in general, my recipes are her recipes. And each of them was so delicious that I can promise I will be going back for more. I encourage you to do the same.

Spinach and Chickpeas with Red Lentils (Daal*)

*Completely unclear on this Daal thing. From what I can gather, anything comprised of beans is Daal. Which makes no sense to me whatsoever, because I think daal is the Indian word for lentil. Anyone?

  • 1 15oz can of chickpea
  • 3/4 cup red lentils (these were my add. Not in her original recipe)
  • 3 cups finely chopped spinach (palak)
  • 2 cups (or more) water (her recipe, without the red lentils, calls for 1/2 cup)
  • 2 medium tomatoes (I used 1 cup chopped frozen tomatoes from garden)
  • 1/2″piece ginger grated
  • 1 green chili
  • 3 tablespoon oil
  • 1/4 teaspoon asafetida WHAT? (I omitted this.)
  • 1 teaspoon cumin seed
  • 1 tablespoon ground coriander seed
  • 1/2 teaspoon turmeric
  • 1/2 teaspoon cayenne (adjust to taste)
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt adjust to taste
  • 1/2 teaspoon garam masala (I didn’t have this. I used a tiny bit of cumin, chili powder, cayenne, nutmeg & cinnamon. Though garam masal has a lot more spices in it than that, I think)
  1. Drain the liquid out of the chickpeas and rince the chick peas well.
  2. Blend the tomatoes, green chilies, and ginger to make a puree.
  3. Heat the oil in a saucepan. Test the heat by adding one cumin seed to the oil; if seed cracks right away oil is ready.
  4. Add the asafetida and cumin seeds.
  5. After the cumin seeds crack, add the tomato puree, coriander, turmeric, red chili powder and cook for about 4 minutes on medium heat.
  6. Tomato mixture will start separating from the oil and will reduce to about half in quantity.
  7. Add spinach, and salt, lentils and and water and let it cook covered for 10 minutes on medium low heat covered.
  8. Add the chickpeas and mash a few of them lightly with a spatula so they soften Note: add more water as needed to keep the sauce consistency to your liking, and let it cook on low heat for 7 to 8 minutes until the red lentils are soft.

Yellow Fried Rice with Peas

  • 1 cup basmati rice
  • 1/2 cup green peas
  • 2 cups water
  • 3 tablespoons oil
  • Pinch of asafetida (I omitted)
  • 1 teaspoon cumin seed
  • 1 teaspoon mustard seed
  • 4 whole red chilies
  • 2 bay leaves
  • About 1inch piece of cinnamon stick
  • 1 teaspoon salt adjust to taste
  • 1/2 teaspoon turmeric
  • 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
  1. Wash rice gently and soak it for at least 15 minutes prior to cooking.
  2. After cooking rice expands to about three times in volume, so be sure to use the proper size pan.
  3. Drain the rice and put into the saucepan. Add the water, green peas, 1 teaspoon of oil, and salt, bring to a boil and turn the heat to low, and cover the pan.
  4. Cook about 15 minutes, or until the rice is tender and the water has evaporated. Turn off the heat and fluff the rice with a fork.
  5. (I used 3 cups of cooked jasmine rice from the night before and frozen peas and started the recipe at the next step)
  6. Heat the oil in a frying pan on medium high. Test the heat by adding one cumin seed to the oil; if seed cracks right away oil is ready. Add asafetida, cumin seeds, and mustard seeds.
  7. After the seeds crack, add red chilies, bay leaves, and cinnamon stick and stir-fry for few seconds.
  8. Add rice, turmeric, and cayenne pepper to the spices in frying pan. Mix it gently.
  9. Stir-fry for about 5 to 6 minutes.

Indian Naan Bread*

*Amazingly, this is cooked much like my rosemary cracker bread, on a baking stone in a very hot (500 degree) oven. I felt right at home! I’d love to do a video, but am conflicted about it being of someone else’s recipe. Seem’s not cool. Comments?

  • 2 cups of All Purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon active dry yeast (I used instant)
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon sugar
  • Pinch of baking soda
  • 2 tablespoons of oil
  • 2 1/2 tablespoons yogurt (My yogurt expired in June of 2009 — not kidding — I used sour cream w/a little milk as a substitute)
  • 3/4 cup lukewarm water
  1. Dissolve active dry yeast in lukewarm water and let it sit for 10 minutes or until the mixture becomes frothy. If using Instant Yeast, as I did, mix instant yeast with the dry ingredients, not the water.)
  2. Add sugar, salt and baking soda to the flour and mix well. (Add instant yeast here)
  3. Add the oil and yogurt (or sour cream or buttermilk) mix, this will become crumbly dough.
  4. Add the water/yeast mixture (or just plain water if using instant yeast) and make into soft dough.Note: after rise dough will become little softer.
  5. Knead until the dough is smooth. Cover the dough and keep in a warm place for 3-4 hours. The dough should almost be double in volume.
  6. Heat the oven to 500 degrees with pizza stone for at least thirty minutes so stone is hot. Using a pizza stone will help to give naan close to same kind of heat as clay tandoor.
  7. Knead the dough for about two to three minutes and divide the dough into six equal parts.
  8. Take each piece of dough, one at a time, and roll into 8-inch oval shape. Dust lightly with dry flour to help with the rolling.
  9. Before putting the Naan in oven, lightly wet your hands and take the rolled Naan, and flipp them between your palms and place onto your baking/pizza stone into the oven. (yeah. good luck with that. Mine were a wreck going onto the stone, but turned out just fine. She makes it look so SIMPLE in the video!)
  10. You can place about 3 Naan on the stone at a time. The Naan will take about 2 to 3 minutes to cook, depending upon your oven. After the Naan is baked (Naan should be golden brown color on top).
  11. Take naan out of the oven and brush lightly with clear butter or ghee. (yes, you guessed it, I just spread it with regular butter.)
  12. wait 2 to 3 minutes before baking the next batch of naan. It gives oven the chance to get heated again to max.

I am very happy with Meatless Monday Four. The only downside, is that it will be a tough act to follow.

Meatless Monday Three

Ridiculously Simple Miso Soup

This is not the Meatless Monday recipe I had planned to share. It is, I admit, a really LAME recipe to share, given it’s simplicity. And the fact that it hardly constitutes a meal.

I think many would say, “Why even bother posting Miso Soup?”

Well. I’ll tell you why.

Warning: Tangental information approaching.

I love miso soup, but I only ever get it when I go to have sushi. Which isn’t very often. I knew I could make it, but didn’t figure it was that practical, having miso paste and tofu in my fridge when I am the only one who would probably ever eat it. But with the advent of Meatless Mondays, it would make the perfect easy Monday lunch! So I set about to gather up the ingredients to have on hand.

And I looked.

And I looked.

It was not nearly as easy as I was led to believe it would be.

I am spoiled with the availability of ethnic ingredients at even the po-dunk grocery stores I frequent. Twenty pound bags of jasmine rice, real — from Thailand — green curry in a can all ready to go for a quick evening meal, etc. And by the way, I know it’s from Thailand because a good friend of mine lived there for several years and turned me on to it! It’s Aroy-D brand.

Anyway, the miso paste was elusive. Byerlys and Lunds were out of it the two times I was there during December. Cub didn’t carry it. I finally found it at Byerlys after the holidays. I figured the seaweed in the miso soup was just nori, but it could be Kombu (?). Who knows. Nori would have to do because everyone has nori. Dashi, a type of fish stock used in miso soup, however, I STILL can’t find!

Lord knows I am not going to make a special trip to an asian grocery deep in the heart of Minneapolis just for dashi. So, last Monday, I wondered if I could just go ahead and make it without the dashi. I gave it a try, instead giving my miso a dash of fish sauce, which I always have on hand. And threw some other stuff in that isn’t normally found in miso soup. Or at least the miso soup I have had up until now.

It was really, really good!

So, I snapped a picture and attached it to a post on twitter.

I have something to say about twitter. I should probably write a whole post on twitter. (In fact, maybe I will do just that). But here it is in a nutshell:

GIVE ME A TWITTER BREAK.

It is NOT the “oh-so-touchy-and-feeley-connection experience” you keep hearing about. At least it isn’t for me. And I don’t believe for one minute that it is for half the people who are saying it is. In fact, it INFURIATES me because I feel like there is something WRONG with me that I don’t seem to have the success and good feelings about it that everyone else seems to. And I’ve been on it for almost two years! I was way ahead of the curve! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? *pant, pant*  Rant over.

I do have people I follow and who follow me that I genuinely like and have fun little interactions with. A few. Like about 20. That’s 20 people out of somewhere around 350.

People are always saying how “valuable” it is and how amazing it is that you can ask a question and get instant answers.

Really?

Not me.

Two weekends ago I tweeted

“Desperately need new jeans. Used to wear 501’s. Switched to Lucky Riders and Lil Maggie. Need v long inseam but not too tight. Recommend?

Not one reply. Not one. No one even made fun of me, which I surely deserved.

Most of the time I feel like I am tweeting to no one.

So what’s the point?

Oh who the Hell knows. And yet I keep on doing it. Probably some egomaniacal need to blast out personal information. Yet another chance for psychoanalysis, for sure.

(I told you it was an unrelated tangent).

But bringing it back around, like I always do: last monday I tweeted a picture of my miso soup and said

“My first attempt at miso soup ever. So good! Even with no dashi!”

And I got a TON of (well. a ton compared to normal) replies asking for the recipe, which I gave out — in less than 140 characters, because it is that easy:

“2T red miso paste, 2c H2O, 1T nori-flamed, 1/4c diced soft tofu, dash of fish sauce, salt, chili flakes, sesame oil, green onions!”

So I figured if there was interest on Twitter, there would be interest here.

Plus — and this almost never happens — we are not able to sit down to dinner as a family this entire week. And I’ll be DAMNED if Dave is going to miss Meatless Monday again, being that book club was on monday, soccer was on tuesday and he is out of town the next two nights. So I am holding off on a true-blue, full-blown, meatless monday recipe until I can torture us all. Together. As a family. As it should be.

So, without further ado,

Ridiculously Simple Miso Soup (without the Dashi!)

(this makes quite a bit for just one person’s lunch. If you want less, halve the recipe like I did the next time)

  • 2 T Miso Paste (Mine is red, because that’s all they had. I have no idea what the difference is)
  • 2 cups water
  • 1 T thinly sliced nori (first “toast” it by running it over a flame (stove burner) a few times until it is bright green)
  • 1/4 cup (or more) SOFT tofu diced into 1/4″ cubes (you can use firm, but I had soft for the first time and it is WAY better than firm in miso.)
  • dash of fish sauce
  • 1/4 t chili with garlic sauce (or a dash of red chile flakes)
  • 1-2 T sliced green onions
  • dash of sesame oil
  • Anything else you might want to add: edamame, rice or cellophane noodles, side of rice…

Add the miso paste to the water and heat, whisking to dissolve the paste completely. I think some recipes call for you to strain the broth after this step, but I didn’t. Because I’m lazy. And it was just fine.

Once dissolved, add nori, tofu, fish sauce and chili (add frozen edamame and noodles here if using). Simmer gently for about 4 minutes. Add the green onion and simmer for another minute. Then drizzle with sesame oil and serve.

Resist the urge to tell your son, when he asks what it tastes like, the thought that immediately pops into your head:

Dirty feet.

Yum. I love miso. But that is, indeed, what popped into my head.

Meatless Monday Two

Ma Po Tofu!

My second Meatless Monday venture very nearly echoed my first: it was almost 3pm before I was finished with my “chores.”

Yes. I admit it. I was working on this effing puzzle. My mom brought it back from Hayward where we had been working on it over the holidays. Never in all my puzzle-working years have I not finished a puzzle over the course of a couple days. I know this one doesn’t look much different than your average puzzle. But trust me, it was. I’ve even worked puzzles that are practically monochromatic and had better luck. I hung my head in shame as we left Hayward to come home, leaving the puzzle incomplete. I figured my mom would finish it off…

Not so. She and my Dad showed up on my doorstep with it as they left town for Mexico cursing my fate for the next two days.

They also left me with their new (rescue) dog Pippi. Better known as POOPY to me, since all she does is crap in my house.

Well, she keeps Lola happy, too. Which is nice.

Anyway. I digress. I was doing the stupid puzzle, and I was also making boatloads of bread for the people who won it at an auction several months ago. I was also oiling the Paperstone counters and the now-apparently-poisoned cutting boards (see the comments section) with the good Paperstone oil, only wandering into my office and the computer around lunch time to return emails and make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything important. (I’m serious. I really do that. I just don’t always catch things in time.

It was then I saw this tweet from @CaptainMal: “What’s for dinner tonight?” #meatlessmonday

Shit, shit and double shit. Meatless Monday! (Are you picking up on a theme here? Don’t remind me to tell you about the two back-to-back board meetings that took place last week that I forgot about and was late for.)

Foreseeing this exact situation, I had armed myself with a few staples at the grocery store last week. Namely, I had picked up some tofu and fresh broccoli.

I suddenly remembered this recipe I had cut out of Cooking Light years ago for something called Ma Po Tofu. I sifted thru the stack in my recipe folder and found it. (Amazing, in and of itself.) The only problem was that it called for ground pork and chicken broth. Really? You call something Ma Po TOFU and include MEAT in it?

I had to do a fair bit of ad libbing since the recipe didn’t call for much more than the tofu and pork… And? It turned out really good. Charlie wasn’t happy, but Morgan liked it. And… OH, I almost forgot! Dave was out of town! I completely forgot he was gone (!) until he called in the middle of my prep. I reminded him that he couldn’t have any meat because it was ‘his’ New Year’s Resolution. He just laughed and asked me if I thought it was a coincidence that he was gone on Monday.

(I don’t have full control over everyone in the family  yet. But I am working on it.)

Anyway, I fully endorse this recipe, so go ahead and try it!

Slice 1 block of firm tofu horizontally into 6 slices and put several layers of paper towel on top and weight with a plate (I used a pie plate with a bowl of water to weight it down) for at least 30 minutes.

Then drain off any water and dice into 1/2″ pieces.

I happened to have some ancient vegetable bouillon.

…which looked disgusting as it dissolved, but tasted *fine*, I guess. I’m going to have to make some real vegetable stock because I really don’t like bouillon cubes — in any flavor — all that much. I think they are just colored salt.

Mix 1 cup vegetable broth with 2 tablespoons soy sauce, 1 tablespoon corn starch, 1 tablespoon oyster sauce and 1-2 teaspoons of chili garlic sauce. Whisk together and set aside.

Blanch a half head of broccoli and 1/2 cup peanuts (I just used dry roasted because that’s all I ever have) in boiling water for about 1-2 minutes. Broccoli should still be firm.

Drain and shock in ice water. Then drain again (picking out any remaining ice cubes).

Dice and saute half an onion, three minced garlic cloves and about two tablespoons of grated ginger. Then add 1/2 cup of edamame and the diced tofu. Stir fry over medium high heat for 3-4 minutes. Then add sauce mix, scraping the bottom of the pan well. Throw in the drained broccoli and peanuts and stir until hot.

At the last minute I threw in about 1/8 cup of chopped red peppers for some color. I liked it.

Serve over hot brown rice and promise your 12.5 year old son that you won’t post the picture you snapped of him with a big pouty face as you serve the delicious tofu meal.

Meatless Mondays!

Come along on the ride, or join the movement with us*

*The Menke family is embarking on their 2nd annual New Year’s resolution lead fearlessly by the mother ship.

(I can’t say they are any happier about this resolution than they were about the last.)

See, I am a woman of the obtainable resolution. I am serious about resolutions. I don’t necessarily make one every year, but if I do make one, I aim to I keep it. For that reason, I never make a resolution about weight or working out. It’s such a cliché, it’s hard, and as soon as I go on record with anything diet or excersice related I begin to obsess. We can’t have that. But the bottom line is, it is really, really hard — though probably not any harder than the year I made a resolution to improve my posture….

That was a bad resolution.

I did work on my posture and I continue to work on my posture. And I will always and forever be working on my horrible posture. Bad resolution.

So anyway.

I always ask my family what their resolution is going to be. And every year it’s the same thing. They don’t have one. They don’t want one. They like their life the way it is. They see no point to self improvement.

So I make suggestions. Why don’t you try to __(fill in the blank)_.

Still no takers. (And I come up with some pretty good ones.)

So I make stronger suggestions mixed with threats and guilt, as only I can do. (I was going to say “as only a mother can do,” but I actually feel that I possess a special gift for this negotiation technique.)

Anyway, last year I had a brilliant idea. Instead of making my own resolution, I would make a family resolution. I would decide something that I wanted to achieve and then call it a family resolution and drag them all down the rabbit hole with me.

In order to make my plan work, I would need to choose the resolution wisely. It would need to be something that — if resisted — I could twist into something truly ugly.  And so it was:

The Spontaneous Dinner Prayer vs The Rote Dinner Prayer

You see, we defected from the local Catholic church a few years ago and began attending an Evangelical Free Church. Marvelous, marvelous place. Truly. However, with all of us Catholics and our rote prayer upbringing, we were serious fish out of water when it came to what I call the “spontaneous prayer.”

I like to think I’m a brave person and not easily embarrassed. But ask me to pray in front of someone or lead a prayer? I can’t think of anything worse. I’m not kidding.

Plus, our dinner meal always started off with the most pathetic attempt at prayer. Everyone mumbling “Bless us the Lord and these Thy gifts…” as fast as possible. I was quite certain that the kids didn’t even really know what they were saying.

I tried to slow things down. Emphasize words. But I was just that person not keeping pace with the rest.

The Spontaneous Prayer resolution would be multi-layered:

  1. It would force my family to join in the fun by making a resolution that I could enforce
  2. It would improve the dinner prayer by making everyone think about what they wanted to say
  3. It would improve our standing in the eyes of God (*hopefully)
  4. It would let me practice my insane fear of praying in front of people on my family with the idea that it would get easier when I needed to do it in front of others (*it did not)
  5. It would increase my diabolical control over my family

All things considered, Family Resolution 2009 was a smashing success. There is no reason to believe 2010 won’t bring the same success.

I came up with Meatless Mondays after reading and listening to several sources talk about the complexities of calculating our “carbon footprint” and why eating local isn’t the end-all solution.

We do fairly well on the whole localvore thing, so I was dismayed to learn (or be brainwashed into believing, as some would say) that US meat production is ridiculously bad for the earth. However, let me be clear on one thing: We Love Meat.

I do fantasize the notion of going vegetarian, but like making a resolution about exercising, I am a realist. And here’s one fact that can not be denied: there is no vegetarian dish that can’t be made 100% better with the addition of crumbled bacon. Period. How can I walk away from crumbled bacon for the rest of my life? And don’t get me started on vegan and the loss of blue cheese…

Vegetarianism is simply not an option for me at this point in my life. However — and this is for you  GARY FRANCIONE WHOEVER YOU ARE — if our family eats meatless even one day a week it will make a bigger difference than if we drove a hybrid car instead of our gas-guzzling SUV’s. Isn’t that better than nothing?

So all you vegans and vegetarians, please don’t turn your noses up. You could even encourage meat lovers like me to take baby steps in a noble new direction. Or you could simply worship and admire me. That would be even better.

Tomorrow: Our first Meatless Monday Meal: Disaster. What was I even thinking when I pureed year old carrots from the freezer?