Happy Thanksgiving!
I’m laying on the couch in the dark. It’s 6:00 am. And I’m writing this from the tiny keypad of my phone. It is both the most cool and the most frustrating thing, all at the same time.
I got out of bed because I couldn’t sleep. I was being tormented by dreams of that damn turkey, haunting me from the basement fridge. –And I’m not even a nervous turkey cook!
Or am I?
I dreamt that I took the turkey out of the oven to flip it and realized that I had started it breast-side up. I was supposed to start it breast side down. So I flipped it over, and it was suddenly too big for the pan — and all the pan juices overflowed onto the floor.
While I’m not a nervous turkey cook I do worry that I won’t have enough pan juices for the gravy. Gravy, as you know, is the most important part of the entire meal.
Anyway, this post will reach you too late, I fear.
The biggest lie they tell you at Thanksgiving: transfer your turkey from the freezer to the refrigerator 3-5 days before you cook it so that it can safely defrost at the correct temperature.
What a load of crap!
I do it every year. And every year I remove a frozen-solid turkey from my fridge.
So tell me: am I the only person this happens to?
If not, I certainly hope you discovered this yesterday and not this morning. I can’t really save you now, but for what it’s worth, the fastest way I’ve found to remedy a frozen bird is to submerge it in water.
But honestly, you might still be screwed.
Call the guests and push it back an hour or two. Or go to the liquor store and buy more booze.
It’ll be fine.
I just wonder when someone — anyone! — will publicly admit that it will take a month to defrost an 18 pound turkey in a normal fridge.
And I’m not even sure of that.
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