When Money is No Object

We gardeners love to act like we are all frugal — growing our own veggies, you know! Oh, don’t you? It’s really not that hard… Wouldn’t you like to harvest your own organic veggies? It’s SO healthy! And cheap!

No it is not.

Nor is it an efficient use of time. Or energy. Or much of anything else. [What it IS, is a good summer workout plan that also gives you a head start for contracting skin cancer.]

Don’t let people like me make you feel like an underachiever. Seriously. We are not overachievers. We are insane. Battling mother nature and the animal kingdom with weapons [remember, we are ORGANIC] that would translate to a rubber knife and plastic squirt gun out on the battlefield.

Anyway, this is my mid-June garden update. Things are actually looking pretty good. Mostly that’s because we have been mercilessly missed by the worst of the damaging weather and because I finally fixed the garden gate. It latches now and keeps Lola [mostly] out of the garden. What it doesn’t keep out is the adolescent bunnies that love nothing but edamame. (I have never found any bunny damage to other crops — which I find very strange) Every year, after the bunnies either 1) mow down the entire planting, or if I’m lucky, 2) only nip a few plants, I haul out my insanely unwieldy “portable” electric fence and spend about, oh… 3 hours setting it up. It is hideous, and tedious and dangerous to work around.

And quite effective.

Several years ago, I was contacted by a representative of a company asking if I would be interested in testing a product to keep rabbits and deer away. It was my first (and only) offer for free swag, courtesy of this ridiculous blog. Unfortunately, the kind woman who contacted me, made the gesture in October — not a prime gardening month in Minnesota. I told her, “Sure. Send it in the spring.”

The next year, forgetting all about that, I dragged out my fence and did it all over again.

She contacted me again in November the next year. The same thing happened the following year. I get it: she’s probably busy in the spring. I was ready for her when she got back in touch last Fall: I told her to send it to me right away. Then, I would use it the following spring. I don’t think she liked that idea, but she sent it anyway.

So here we are in the early summer of 2015 — and I almost forgot about all about it! And when I remembered, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to roll the dice–replanting is SUCH a drag. Nevertheless, I do have a renegade bunny that is working hard on my edamame. And, I am also feeling very old and lazy these days. Spraying some stuff sounded a lot easier to me than dragging out that damn fence. Besides: we are all kinda sick of edamame. Isn’t soy bad for you now? If I lost the crop I would shake my fist at the sky and plant a cover crop.

The product isn’t anything new or ground breaking, from what I can gather. I remember my mom using Liquid Fence at various times during the past decade or two. I also remember that she had to reapply it every time it rained, which was a total pain. [A bigger pain than the electric fence? — who’s to say.] Happily, this formula doesn’t require that. However, it also says nowhere on the label, that it is safe for use on vegetables. In fact, I can find no mention of vegetables at all. Hmmmm. That seems like, I don’t know… kind of important? And ominous?

Undeterred, I sprayed it all around the bed, and then all around the entire garden perimeter. The next day I had another two plants nipped off.

This was surely a dilemma.

[Oh my gosh. Is it me? Or is this the world’s longest, most boring story? Why can’t I stop?]

I stood there for long enough to get a nice sunburn on the back of my neck while I contemplated dragging out the stupid (but effective!) fence.

Then, in a sudden flurry of decisivity (yes, I made that word up), I sprayed the Liquid Fence all over my edamame. To HELL with organic.

And I haven’t lost a plant since!

I’m sort of hoping my lady finds me again so I can ask her if I’m going to die when we eat the edamame (because we will be eating the edamame). My rationale is that it absolutely fine. These plants are still tiny and not even close to flowering — that is still many weeks away. (I am no botanist, but doesn’t that make perfect sense?) Plus, from what I can tell from the smell as you spray it, it just might be organic: dead fish and coyote urine? Decomposed and liquified flesh? As long as whatever is inside this bottle didn’t eat GMO corn before it was turned into Liquid Fence, it’s probably fine, right?

The good news is, that smell goes away when it dries. The bad news is, Lola rolled in it before it dried. The good news is, after it dried on Lola, it didn’t smell. The bad news is, when she got wet I smelled it again.

The plants only need to get another inch or so taller and then they should be safe. So, I totally endorse this product. Assuming I don’t die, I will even buy it again. It’s appears to be a good weapon.

On to the photos. Captions included.

That’s it for today! I’m going to be changing my RSS subscription to Mail Chimp as soon as I have time. Look for an email if you were a previous subscriber, and if you want to become one, just fill out the box in the side bar when it shows up.