It seems like the world we live in is falling apart. The sexual crimes and #metoo phenomenon has brought so much of this to light. How can we ignore it? There is something fundamentally wrong with our society and while I think all of it is disgusting, I also know, deep in my heart, that many – if not all — of these men are broken inside and in pain. They don’t know it, of course. And most never will truly see this for what it is because they don’t want to. Because society supports it. Because it’s the status quo. Because they’ve gotten away with it for so long. Because it makes them ‘feel good’ – when nothing else does — they then feel ‘entitled’ to continue doing it.
My daughter recommended a documentary a while back that I never watched until very recently called “The Mask You Live In” on Netflix. It’s a little over an hour and really brings to light the crisis boys (who eventually become the men that are committing these terrible acts) face in this country. It has given me insight into my own relationships with the men in my life. I wish I had seen it before my son grew up. Before I got married. Before now.
We can no longer pretend that only “bad men” do things like this. Very good men have done it, are doing it, and will do it in the future. And while the public pounds their fists and cries for justice and revenge, nothing really changes because the root cause is ignored. I ask: are you ready to burn your son at the stake? Your husband? Your dad? Your brother? Because these are the men committing the crimes. It seems no one is untouched by it. And not that all who commit the crimes don’t deserve punishment. But simple contrite apology statements, hand slaps, and financial penalty aren’t going to change anything for anyone other than the ones who are being caught. It changes nothing in the long run. Another question: are you ready to roll up your sleeves and try to help? If so, start by watching that documentary. It might give you some empathy.
After yesterday, and the Al Franken disclosure, the thing that sickens me almost the most in the midst of all of this sexual misconduct is how, in the past week, it has become hyper-politicized. I am BEGGING the world, the women, the media to STOP THIS. It devalues and changes the very nature of the problem. It is sick. To suddenly cast sexual crime and its consequence into the political arena is simply a tactic to divert the discussion. To use it for political jockeying is criminal. Wrong. Disgusting. So just STOP.